What Has "Trauma" Got to Do with Me?

When I tell people I'm a "trauma therapist," I often get a response of raised eyebrows and a slow, sombre nod. I can almost hear what they're thinking: "Oh, that must be difficult work."

They imagine I work with people who have suffered physical violence or serious accidents. And while that's certainly part of it, the word "trauma" has expanded to include so much more.

The word itself comes from ancient Greek and literally means "a wound" or "a blow." While it once described physical injuries and their psychological aftermath, modern psychology now uses it to cover psychological and emotional injuries as well. In this light, you could say that nearly every person has, at some point, suffered an emotional wound.

You might feel some resistance to this idea. Perhaps you think, "If everyone has trauma, what does the word even mean?" Or maybe you feel it does a disservice to those who have "truly suffered." This resistance is valid and worth acknowledging. I believe there's a place for all these perspectives. While "trauma" might not be the perfect term, it's the one we have to explore this powerful concept and understand why it matters to all of us—including you.

My perspective is heavily shaped by my education and by the work of my personal hero, Dr. Gabor Maté. In his book, The Myth of Normal, he explains that trauma is "an inner injury, a lasting rupture or split within the self due to difficult or hurtful events." He stresses that it's not the event itself, but rather what happens within you as a result of that event.

This inner injury gets lodged in our nervous system—in our very body—and it stays there long after the event has passed. Depending on its intensity, it can shape our choices, our reactions, and our relationships. If we leave it in the shadows, it continues to hold unconscious power over us.

To illustrate how hidden and yet ubiquitous this kind of wound can be, let me share a story. I once read about a young girl who loved to sing and dance. She would greet her mother coming home from work with a "show," but one day, her mother was unusually stressed and exhausted. The child began her performance, but her mother, feeling immense overwhelm, snapped harshly at her to stop and go to her room.

In that moment, the child internalized a message: her joyful self was a burden. Fast forward to adulthood, and this woman was grappling with feelings of shame despite a deep desire to express herself through dance.

This story shows how a single incident can lead to a deeper wound that impacts how we are in the world. And in many cases, we may not even be conscious of it. This "inner injury" can manifest as a trauma response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—when a trigger overwhelms our capacity to cope, and our injury takes over.

But the real power of this girl's story lies in the fact that she was eventually able to trace her feelings of shame back to the origin of the wound. That act of bringing it into awareness is the first part of healing. To heal simply means "to make whole."

Imagine what we could do; what we could share of ourselves, if we could heal our deepest wounds and our shame. The first step to healing is bringing our inner injuries out of the shadows and into the light. This is how we improve our conscious awareness and truly begin to meet ourselves.